What My Clients Have Taught Me: Lessons in Compassion, Humility, and Humanity

I've been working in the field of psychology in one way or another since 1989. Over the years, I've sat across from people in their darkest hours, their most vulnerable moments, and their rare bursts of triumph. They have ranged from the wealthy to the impoverished, the seemingly untouchable to the deeply marginalized, and the quietly suffering to the outspokenly unwell. What they've taught me cannot be quantified or reduced to a tidy phrase-it has shaped the core of who I am.

Some of the greatest lessons I've learned didn't come from textbooks or seminars; they came from listening to people who society often ignores. Homeless clients have taught me about privilege and humility, not through lectures, but through their resilience and grace. A man who had nothing but a shopping cart to his name once offered to share his sandwich with another client in need. How many of us, with so much more, would do the same?

Profound Messages from Unexpected Places

People who live with persistent and serious mental illnesses, like schizophrenia, have often given me the most profound insights. These are the individuals society frequently labels as "broken," yet they have a clarity about human nature that many of us miss. I recall a man who lived in poverty and struggled with paranoid schizophrenia. He showed up for therapy regularly, not just for himself, but with an unexpected generosity of spirit-always asking about me.

One day, as the holidays approached, he asked me what I would be doing. I hesitated, feeling awkward about the extravagance of my plans, and finally admitted that I was going on a cruise to Alaska. He smiled and said, "Good, you deserve that." I didn't deserve it more than he did. In fact, I probably deserved it less. His simple act of kindness, his capacity to wish joy for someone else in the midst of his own struggles, humbled me in a way I've never forgotten.

The Complexity of Human Nature

Working in this field has opened my eyes to the profound complexity of human nature. I've been the clinical director of inpatient psychiatric units, where I've witnessed wisdom emerging from places you'd least expect. On one senior mental health unit, a trans woman was admitted-a situation I worried might provoke discomfort or rejection among the older patients. Instead, by the end of her stay, she was hugged and encouraged by her peers to live her truth. Their support was a reminder of how much goodness can exist when we're willing to see past our preconceived notions.

I've worked with people across all classes, and if there's one truth I've learned, it's this: monetary wealth does not buy class, depth, or empathy. In fact, I've often seen the opposite. People who have faced tragedy and lack are more likely to share what little they have, to show up for others, to live with an innate kindness that can't be purchased. I've never met a rich person who was inherently "better" than a poor person. But I've met plenty of people with little material wealth who were spiritually wealthy in ways that left me awestruck.

Challenging My Own Biases

This work has also forced me to confront my own prejudices and assumptions. It's easy to think of yourself as compassionate until you meet someone whose life challenges your comfort zone. But being truly present with people-especially those society tries to erase-opens a door to a deeper kind of empathy. It strips away the ego and forces you to see someone as they are: complex, flawed, and endlessly worthy of love and respect.

In this narcissistic, self-absorbed culture we live in, where too many people dismiss social justice and mock the so-called "woke" for caring, I find myself more grateful than ever for the people I've worked with. These clients have reminded me that altruism isn't just a virtue; it's a lifeline. The joy of giving, of showing up for others, is something many of the self-absorbed will never experience. They are the "poor in spirit," impoverished not by circumstance but by their own lack of curiosity and empathy.

Finding Home Among the Marginalized

I feel most at home with people who are raw, unpolished, and real. The ones who've been knocked down by life but still find the strength to stand. The ones who see the world for what it is and choose kindness anyway. Being in their presence has been one of the greatest privileges of my life.

To my clients-those who have shared their pain, their wisdom, their humor, and their resilience with me-you have been my greatest teachers. You've taught me that humanity is not about status, wealth, or achievement. It's about compassion, humility, and the ability to see yourself in the struggles of others.

If we could all learn to listen more, to see beyond ourselves, to share even when we have little, imagine how much richer the world could be-not in material wealth, but in the kind of love and kindness that sustains us all.

This is what my clients have taught me, and I will forever be grateful.